A Lesson in Modern School Rules

My brother got this little questionable use of school funds at the beginning of this school year. It’s a combination of handbook/planner/offerer of random bawic information. Why the standard stapled paper handbook thingy was no longer sufficient, I’ll never know.

I wanted to see what was the same and/or different from when I was at the school [unintelligible sounds] years ago.

  • Bro says this handbookagendarandomfactsource has to be carried around at all times. It has a “hall pass” page for teachers to sign you out & back in to class. So if you have to go to the restroom you have to bring it with you? Weird.
  • Among other devices, “M3 Players” are not permitted during school hours. Geez…technology is moving so quickly I must have missed when they dropped the “P” in MP3.
  • Textbooks have barcodes now. Barcodes! Kids “check out” the textbooks at the library at the beginning of the semester. Their IDs are scanned & linked to the books. So no funny biz like taking Johnny’s book to turn in because you lost yours.
  • Lunch is $1.55 now.
  • “…chat rooms are not for students.” So…for teachers it’s cool?
  • The lost ID process has changed. We used to just get a temporary sticker ID. Now you have to pay $5 to have a new ID made on-the-spot…but only until 9:15. After that if you lose yours you go to ISS. Dang.
  • “Leggings, stretch pants, and tights of any style are not considered pants & should not be worn as such.” If only everyone followed this standard…
  • Yearbooks are $62 if you buy them early.
  • Now the Top 35 seniors get special parking. Pfft. Thirty-five.
  • AP classes are a major GPA boost. If I correctly recall, honors & AP were lumped together when it came to calculating GPA, half a point higher than a college prep class with the same grade. Now it’s a full point higher than CP. For example, a 93 in a CP class gets 4.0; the same in an AP class gets 5.0. I’m a little jealous.
  • My brother said if anyone is caught saying anything sucks during a pep rally, the whole class (e.g., seniors) are banned from further pep rallies. So, no “Freshmen suck”, no “Mauldin sucks”, no “Political correctness sucks”…

Ultimately, it’s sad to me that we have to lay down so many rules in the first place. In my world of unicorns and fairy dust, it would be sufficient to say, “Don’t be an idiot. Come to school and act responsibly.”

C’mon. Why should we have to tell kids that we’re not down with you showing up to school drunk and with your pants hardly covering your bottom?

Kids these days.

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