I want to take this opportunity to announce I will not be seeking the candidacy for the President of the United States.
(pause for collective cheering and groaning)
However, if I did run, I have the perfect songs to play.
I’m going to walk onto the stage for most of my speeches to Saliva’s “Ladies and Gentlemen”. If I’m not feeling up to speaking, I’m just going to mouth the words.
Obviously I am going to win the primary. My first fundraiser after that will be to the tune of DJ Khaled/Luda/Rick Ross/T-Pain/Snoop, “All I Do Is Win”
And for my victory speech, Kevin Rudolf’s “I Made It”.
It could happen.