Phases – “I’m in Love With My Life”

I think we could all agree life is better than death. Maybe I am too close-minded in that thought. I have no experience with being dead so it’s pretty easy to sit atop my lofty perch and say life is so much more enjoyable. Enter this week’s jam:

Beck – “Dreams”

This week’s song is an upbeat one. Whenever this comes on Alt Nation I have to turn it up. I mean, not blaring. I’m not that hip. Then again I’d find it a fun story to receive a noise violation for blasting Beck.

Jamie XX – “Loud Places”

There’s something satisfying about this song. I guess it’s just easy listening.

Get Off My Lawn

I decided to make my triumphant return to blogging by pontificating about turning 30. Probably about other things as well.

(Of course, this was after planning to do it and then forgetting to do it several times.)

I am amazed with how much shorter my memory is these days. If I intend to address a thought at a later time I have to write it down immediately or I will forget. I hit rock bottom when I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to pick up milk after work. I like to think I have 30 years of wisdom piled into my brain, ergo I cannot make room for such frivolous things to remember.

I have learned to appreciate value more than to obsess over price. I mean, buying paper towels in bulk is one of the most satisfying things to do because America.

I have always been a little behind on technology but now I am woefully behind. I purchased a tablet two days ago and downloaded my first e-book. Yes, I have catapulted into 2010.

Going out on the town is a totally different experience now. At 22 I probably would have been one of those dames traipsing around downtown while wearing heels. But now practicality wins over. There is far too much walking necessary to make heels acceptable footwear. Such a waste of a good shoe when a gal cannot walk properly in it, too. We need to raise more awareness of Elective Bambi Syndrome.

It is also worth mentioning while on the subject of social outings that age has brought more interest in proper amounts of slumber. I remember a time in my life when I was leaving the house at 9 or 10 at night to go out. By 10 p.m. now I would likely have been asleep for around an hour.

Now that I have more time on my hands I like to spend it thinking of the bigger things in life. What is the average age when people really start to feel like adults? Does anyone else think of how fascinating car driving technology is? How many videos are on YouTube?

Now I forgot why I was blogging. *Looks for reminder sticky note…*

Thoughts on First-Time Flight and Other Things

At age 28 I finally took my first plane ride. As I sit here contending with leftover lethargy from said flight, I want to reflect on the journey to and from St. Louis.

I learned in my class in STL that I’m a thinker, which totally explains why I prepared for this flight like it was a school exam. I read so many blogs about things to expect when in the air and special concerns first-time fliers would have. Noises. Sudden movements. Navigating security.

One piece of advice I read was to get to the airport two hours early. After doing this twice I’ve concluded this must depend on the airport. I probably could have arrived at 2:12 for my 3:12 flight out of GSP and still had a few minutes to chill before boarding.

When I approached the security area I verified my carry-on would fit in that metal crate thing. The TSA agent said I was one of the few people who did that. I made it through security with one hiccup…my headband.

So there I was in a nearly empty concourse two hours before my flight. Two hours to think about all the things I read about flight. Two hours to reflect on the $10 club wrap I bought at the snack bar.

A gate agent later appeared. The flight is booked to the brim and they didn’t anticipate having enough carry-on space. Does anyone want to volunteer to check his or her bag free of charge?

I pulled my word puzzles out of my bag and volunteered my bag. As a new flyer, this would be my biggest concern for the next four hours.

My main source of entertainment was the preppy fellow across the aisle. When we reached cruising altitude that dude pulled out a footlong sub. Seemed like a kind of hardcore food to whip out on a plane. But what did I know? I was new at this.

A piece of advice I found to be very true: Drink lots of water. My throat did feel dry up there; I ran through a 20 oz. bottle in the 30 minutes between Greenville and Atlanta.

I braced myself for chaos when I landed at ATL. Turned out to be quite easy to navigate from my arrival gate to my departure gate. I went to the bookstore and found exactly what I wanted on a table at the entrance: Orange Is the New Black. I was 15th on the list of requests for the book from the library. So it was obvious the free route just wasn’t happening. And now I had a book to read on the plane.

Landing in STL is when it “got real”. I’m a gal traveling alone. I’m in an unfamiliar city. I checked a bag that may or may not be here. And I have to get a taxi. I mean, it was thrilling but still kind of a weird reality.

Baggage claim was a little anxiety-inducing. I saw a string of bags with my flight number pass…then nothing for a few minutes. I went back to flight advice I read a week earlier: Chances are everyone around you is a seasoned traveler. If they’re not freaking out, you shouldn’t either.

I finally saw my zebra-print bag rise from the great unknown under the conveyor belt. Victory!

I had considered taking the rail to the hotel, but it was dark and I didn’t know much about the relative safety of that mode of transportation. So I opted for the $45(!) taxi ride.

The hotel was a weird experience. I checked in on Wednesday. When I returned to my room after class Thursday, I noticed the housekeeping staff moved a lot of things–and not really into an arrangement that looked like when I arrived. The decorative pillows were either in the corner or on the bench near the bathroom. The lotion and face cream were on the counter instead of on the sink where they started. The TV remote was randomly thrown in front of the TV…not even in a straight position.

Forget this. I’m putting my “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door for the rest of my time here…

After chatting with the hotel concierge at checkout about the safety of the rail line, I decided to use it to go to the airport. The ride was $2.25. A welcome change.

I ran into another too-early-to-the-airport situation. In fact, the flight using my gate before my flight used it had not started boarding when I arrived.

When I boarded my final flight, I was so eager to be home. This grew even more intense as we sat near the takeoff point and waited for four planes ahead of us to takeoff.

Overall I really enjoyed flying. The best things I read and heard were to

*chew gum, though it seemed even more helpful to swallow water to keep my ears clear.

*pay attention to the way other people are reacting to things. Falling a bit unexpectedly and changing noises are totally normal.

Now that I know what to expect when flying, I want to travel more often. Ignoring the post-flight haze I’m in, of course.

A Storefront Conversation

Last night I encountered a lively gent in front of my friendly neighborhood supermarket. The chap was selling portrait packages. “Eight photos for $10, giiiiirl!!”

I had that brief moment of dread as I approached the store. This is not going to be a saleman to whom I can politely decline interest and leave.

I was right.

Guy: “Hey, I know you want some pictures made. Look at these babies. These families. You can get you family some pictures!”

Me: “No, but thank you.”

“Aw, you got no kids?”
“No.”
“You got a husband? You can pose with your husband.”
“No, I don’t have a husband.”
“Hey, you can do a diva shot, you know? You got a sweetheart on the side? Maybe you two can do a few poses.”

[At this point he showed me what poses might look like.]

“Oh my goodness.”
“No sweetie on the side? Maybe we can do some pics.”

[I think my eyes grew a little wide here with incredulity.]

“I really need to get my groceries.”

I think we’re all getting just a little too comfortable with each other these days…

Losing and Gaining

I haven’t updated my blog in over a year! I thought offering wise words about changing one’s body would be a nice restart.

I have been on and off exercise kicks (pun somewhat intended) for years. I never really saw results during those phases; I think I was too casual about it back then. I even took diet pills years ago and did lose a lot of weight, but it felt dishonest. Not to mention I was in a constant state of headache from the high caffeine content.

So I again became lax. Put on more weight. One day earlier this year I was a little winded after doing some mild moving of things and I thought, “This is ridiculous. You need to fix yourself.”

This time around, I knew things would be different. I was in a dear friend’s wedding and I had to decide if I wanted to start working on this body before or after the event. Seemed like it would be better to wait until after the event. You know, alterations and such.

So there I was in the left side of the above photo. Chunky monkey. It was a super cute dress but I felt kind of gross. I was out of shape and I knew it could cause health problems down the road.

I think your health is like cooking a meal in a crock pot. If you want it to turn out well at a certain point you have to start early.

At the beginning of April I started this journey. I looked into prepared food programs; I thought this might be simpler if someone told me what to eat. I considered Nutrisystem. As I looked at their foods I realized they were pretty much normal meals. The only difference was the portion size. So I decided I was going to try to make this as painless as possible. I was going to eat my normal food, just less of it.

I’m not going to lie. It was hard for a few weeks. I wanted the messy burgers I loved. I wanted to eat a saucer-sized brownie. I kept things under control in the early days by thinking of how close the next meal time was. I don’t need that 600-calorie snack when dinner is two hours away.

When I ate meals, I started paying attention to serving sizes. Just because you can fill a plate it doesn’t mean you should.

After I grew accustomed to the dietary change, I started exercising again. Oy. It’s hard to get going and to stay motivated when you start or restart regular exercise. In the beginning I probably only made it through 30 minutes before needing to stop.
What helped me to stick with exercise even though I lacked a lot of endurance is I remained realistic. I knew it would take a while to get to where I wanted to be. I am in this for the long haul.

I finally built up my cardio endurance so that I could exercise an hour a day. I was on my way.

I had read many weight loss stories and I saw a common thread: A food diary. I knew there was surely an app or website to make this easy. There was…MyFitnessPal. It makes it so easy to track what you eat and what exercise you do. I looked up a lot of foods I used to love to eat and I was stunned to see how many calories I was eating. The app tracks other information such as sodium and cholesterol. After you complete the day the app will project how much you will weigh in five weeks. It’s kind of a tangible way to see how what you’re doing is changing your body.

For the past month and a half I’ve transitioned from cardio to strength training. On the occasions when I used weights I used five-pound dumbbells. “I’m not going for bulk. I’m toning! Toning!”

Yeah. Never really saw that toning. So I started reading and realized strength training is vital for reshaping your body. Really, it is. You’re not going to become bulky. I stepped up to 10-pound dumbbells and soon I’m going to have to go up again.

I’ve noticed the most transformation of my body in these past few weeks since I’ve started doing Jillian Michaels kickboxing. It combines cardio & strength; I feel so great after the workout.

I think one of the keys to succeeding is changing your lifestyle gradually. It’s hard to wake up one day and try to exercise hard and do a shake two meals a day. Believe me. I’ve tried several times.

What has worked for me is sticking to regular foods in proper portions (that’s one cup of cereal, folks. One cup.). I stuck with exercise in those early days when I thought I’d never build up my endurance.

Most legitimate body transformations take time. Those people who lost half their body weight usually took a year or more to do it. I’m happy where I am but I’m excited to see where I can go. I feel strong and many times healthier than I felt that day I was winded after moderate exertion. I walked around downtown Charleston for 10 hours a couple of weeks ago. And it felt great.

If your head is in the right place, it’s a journey worth taking to become a healthier person. A tone body is just a bonus. I didn’t start this thinking, “My body is going to look like X”. I just didn’t want to be that person who is winded while grocery shopping. But now I can see the changes and it helps to keep me going. I can resist foods that are too far off the charts.

I used to think people who said diet and exercise were all they did were full of it. Surely they’re hiding something. They actually workout three hours a day or they only eat salmon and rice every meal. I’ve since realized it really is true. After a few weeks of eating better and exercising regularly you really do feel a 180 difference.

I don’t eat any funky foods or drink weird shakes. I can dine out like anyone, except I’m going to opt for healthier choices.

It can be done, folks. I’m doing it.

The Scribble Diary, 6/30 – 7/3

This gallery contains 16 photos.

Top 20 Songs…Ever?

That’s a tough topic. How can I even begin to recall all of the songs I’ve heard over my lifetime, and then how do I narrow them down to 20?

For the non-Twitter types, #20topfavouritesongsever has been trending all day. Likely because it takes 20 tweets to address it.

I did manage to think of 20 songs I like. I don’t know if they’re the best ever; perhaps this post would be more aptly named “Top 20 Songs I Remembered in the Last Hour”.

Also, I couldn’t figure out how to rank them beyond top five. So I’m just disappointment all around with this post.

The rest:
AC/DC, “Back in Black”
Portishead, “Humming”
The Beatles, “I Want You”
Bush, “Swallowed”
Massive Attack, “Angel”
Thievery Corporation, “Sweet Tides”
Bobby Darin, “Beyond the Sea”
Duke Ellington, “Loveinessence”
Elton John, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”
Glenn Miller Orchestra, “Moonlight Serenade”
Rufus Wainwright, “Origin of Love”
Fiona Apple, “Criminal”
Simply Red, “Holding Back the Years”
Shiny Toy Guns, “Le Disko”
Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Breaking the Girl”

The best:
5. The Black Crowes, “Remedy”
4. Portishead, “Glory Box”
3. The Beatles, “Something”
2. Temple of the Dog, “Say Hello to Heaven”
1. Led Zeppelin, “Kashmir”

I’ll probably kick myself later for forgetting “Mega Epic Musical Masterpiece” by “Freaking Obvious Band”. For now, this is it.

The Ten Year Plans…

…o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.

An apt adaptation from the poem “To a Mouse” by Robert Burns. If it sounds vaguely familiar, recall John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men” from high school English.

Or check out the film. Gary Sinise. John Malkovich. It was awese. <-intentional truncation

As a 17-year-old ingenue, I thought I knew how my life would be ten years from point A. I think we all had those passing thoughts, right?

And as I reflect upon turning 27 this year, I think of how things are different. How, at 17, I thought I'd surely forget the silly things I was forced to learn. But I never forgot the poem we had to memorize…

"So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow, glazed with rain water, beside the white chickens"

Yes, it does Willie. Yes, it does.

I remember that, but I also remember making vague plans for life. I wondered what I would be doing at 27.

I feel like there's a sense of being frozen in your high school generation. People with whom you attended high school are just like you. They're in your boat. People who graduated a few years+ either before or after you are in a different realm.

It's difficult to pinpoint the exact sentiment, but it's almost as if everyone else around me is getting older. I'm stuck in a moment with my closer peers. We're not almost 30.

Except we are.

Now I think of life at 37. That's 20 years after high school, which seems like an eternity if it's anyone else. It doesn't seem so long when I think of my specific peers.

Life was very different roughly ten years ago. I remember my parents coming to visit me my freshman year in college to buy their pitiful college kid some food…and a digital camera. Those things were new back then.

"Back then". Geez.

In that moment, I would have never imagined my parents being divorced.

Ten years ago, I saw nothing but prime economic opportunity ahead. I remembered the million-dollar retirement concept from Economics in high school. By 27, I would have contributed $18,000 to an IRA. And surely the job market would continue to be amazing.

Life was so promising then. Not that I'm mopey about life now, but there was a different morale in this country ten years ago. I couldn't have imagined a tough job market. I couldn't have imagined how bitter our politics would become.

At 27, many of us have already seen friends marry and divorce. We've seen them welcome new life to the earth. We are the people who, at 17, seemed so old. I look at pictures of my peers with their children and I still see those peers as they were in high school. A child is having a child.

We're suspended in that moment.

I don't know how to characterize the feeling of 27. To be in one's late 20s through 30s and unmarried & childless, it's like a generational purgatory. I'm not really one of the young kids who party anymore, but I'm not settled down. It really is a kind of mid-air suspension in life.

Regardless, I am thoroughly pleased with my life now. It may not be exactly as I envisioned at 17, but life would be boring if you always knew the next move. I used to be a little obsessed with planning, but I have come to appreciate life's little moments even more as I've learned to leave the future open ended.

When I first thought of my "best laid plans" from 17, I wondered how my life could have turned out so differently. Then I realized that at that young age, your life plans are based on a limited lifetime of experiences. There are so many things you can't foresee at that age.

Good things.

Bad things.

Confusing things.

All have a place.

I don't put life on a timeline in the same way I would have at 17. I don't think 37 is the editor of my life's paper, breathing down my neck to meet the print deadline. My only goal going forward is to be content with the way life rolls.